What Twenty-Five Years Working With Children Has Taught Me About Connection

Over the past twenty-five years, I have had the privilege of working alongside thousands of children and their families in schools, homes, early learning settings and clinical environments. Throughout that time, one lesson has remained constant: meaningful change begins with connection.

That is exactly why I created this course.

I wanted to bring together more than twenty-five years of professional experience as a teacher, Specialist Behaviour Support Practitioner, clinical supervisor and Child-Centred Play Therapist into a course that is practical, evidence-informed and immediately useful.

It has been designed for parents, educators, Behaviour Support Practitioners, allied health professionals and anyone who wants to build stronger relationships with children.

This is not a course about memorising theory. It is about learning to see children differently. It is about understanding behaviour through a developmental lens, recognising the therapeutic value of play and developing the confidence to respond in ways that strengthen relationships.

My greatest hope is that one day you walk into a room with a child who says absolutely nothing. Instead of wondering what to say next, you will understand that the conversation has already begun.

For Professionals

"Meg... the child comes into my office, sits on the chair, looks at the floor, and says absolutely nothing. What do I do?"

"Can I ask you something?"

It is probably the question I hear more than any other.

Usually, it comes from a psychologist, Behaviour Support Practitioner, teacher, counsellor or support worker who has been working with a child for weeks. They lean in and quietly say, "Meg... the child comes into my office, sits on the chair, looks at the floor, and says absolutely nothing. What do I do?"

I always smile. Not because I am laughing at them. Because I know exactly how they feel.

I have been there.

Early in my career, I believed my job was to ask good questions. I thought that if I built enough rapport and asked the right questions, children would eventually tell me what they were thinking and feeling. Instead, I was met with silence, one-word answers and the occasional shrug of the shoulders. I was often left wondering what I could have done differently.

It took me years to realise something that now seems so obvious. I was expecting children to communicate like adults. Children were communicating all along. I simply was not listening in their language. That realisation completely transformed the way I worked with children.

For more than twenty-five years I have worked alongside children and families in education, disability and behaviour support. Throughout that time, one question has guided my practice: What is this child trying to communicate? My interest has never been limited to reducing behaviour. My passion has always been understanding the child behind the behaviour.

That curiosity led me to complete formal training in Child-Centred Play Therapy and a now a Master of Autism and Research. I did not pursue that training to collect another qualification. I wanted to understand children more deeply. I wanted to build stronger therapeutic relationships and create spaces where children felt genuinely safe, accepted and understood.

When I studied Child-Centred Play Therapy the impact on my practice was immediate.

Children who had spent weeks avoiding conversation suddenly invited me into their world. Not through words, but through play. One child spent an entire session building walls from wooden blocks. Another buried every figure in the sand tray. One little boy crashed toy cars together over and over again for nearly an hour. To somebody looking through the window, it probably appeared that we were simply playing.

The reality is we were playing but we were also building a deep theraputic connection.

I was observing how each child experienced relationships, safety, control, frustration, connection and emotional regulation. Every choice carried meaning. Every interaction told part of their story.

This is one of the biggest misconceptions about play. Many adults see toys. Children see opportunities to communicate experiences they cannot yet explain with words.

Research consistently demonstrates that play is fundamental to children's emotional, cognitive and social development. Long before children develop the language to describe complex emotions, they express themselves through symbolic play, imagination and relationships with others. Child-Centred Play Therapy provides a framework for understanding those experiences and responding in ways that strengthen connection instead of creating more barriers.

Parents often tell me something very similar.

"My child will not tell me about their day."

"We used to be so close."

"I feel like I cannot reach them anymore."

Those conversations always remind me that connection cannot be forced through questions alone. Children need emotional safety before they are ready to share their inner world. Play creates that safety. It allows children to lead, explore, communicate and process experiences in a way that feels natural to them.

Over the past few years, I have found myself answering the same questions from professionals again and again. They want to know how to engage children who refuse to talk. They want to understand what children are communicating through their play. They want practical strategies that can be applied immediately within therapy rooms, classrooms and family homes.

For Parents

A Simple Morning Game That Changed the Way We Connect

Like many families, our mornings used to begin with the same predictable conversation.

Question - "How did you sleep?"

Answer - "Good."

Every morning.

My very empathetic ten-year-old eventually became just as tired of the routine as I did. One morning he announced that "good" was boring and decided we needed a new script. From that day on, answering "good" was no longer allowed.

Instead, we had to answer the question as creatively as possible.

"How did you sleep?"

"On a cloud made of fairy floss."

"Hanging upside down like a bat."

"Inside a giant taco."

The more ridiculous the answer, the better. What started as a silly little family game quickly became one of my favourite parts of the morning. It gave us something to laugh about before the day even began. It encouraged imagination, sparked conversation and, without even realising it, created a moment of genuine connection.

As someone who has spent more than twenty-five years working with children, I often think about why this simple game works so well. Adults tend to ask children questions that require almost no thinking at all. "How was school?" "How did you sleep?" "Did you have a good day?" Most children have a default response ready before the question has even been finished "Good."

The conversation ends almost as quickly as it begins. When we ask playful questions, something changes. There is no correct answer. There is no pressure to perform. Children become imaginative, creative and engaged. They laugh, elaborate and invite us into their world. What appears to be a silly conversation is actually an opportunity to strengthen relationships.

Research has consistently shown that play is a child's natural language. It supports communication, emotional development, creativity and social connection. Play is not limited to toys or games on the floor. It can be woven into everyday moments, including the simple conversations we have before school or on the drive home.

One of my favourite answers is still, "In your coffee cup, close to you. It was so warm and toasty." It makes me smile every time.

Sometimes building connection with children does not require complicated strategies or hours of uninterrupted time. Sometimes it starts with asking a question that invites imagination instead of routine.

So tomorrow morning, try replacing, "How did you sleep?" with something a little more playful. You might be surprised where your child says they woke up.